Friday, March 20, 2009

Picking Up Where We Left Off

I've never been one to keep quiet about my life. I feel that knowledge and experience that goes unshared is a waste. We are where we are today because of people who were brave enough to speak up and speak out, regardless of how crazy their thoughts sounded or how radical their theories seemed.
I am recommitting myself to blogging our struggles, as a family, to help our oldest son find answers to what plagues him. We have been on a virtual roller coaster with him. We have tried everything from therapy to pills, to dietary changes and are still left without any exact answers. I'm praying that the new rEEG test will provide us with information that can allow our son to live a happy, normal life. He deserves a life that is free of mental torture and constant inner battles.
I have not blogged about this in a long time. Mostly because there are people in this world who prefer to maintain a closed mouth and believe that everyone else should too. Although I know and love some of these people, I have an obligation to share our battle with others, so that they do not feel so alone. If these people cannot understand that, I will love them anyway but refuse to be silent.
At this point, D is on two medications for what doctors believe is bipolar disorder. The first medication, Risperdal, is an anti psychotic. The second is Zoloft, an anti depressant. Did I ever dream that my nine year old son would have to take daily doses of such things? Never in my worst nightmares. Am I happy about it? No way. So why would I allow him to become dependent on drugs? Simply because I see a whole different child now. I see that he can better manage his anger, live normally and get straight A's in school. The medicine is helping his neurotransmitters to do their jobs.
We combine the medication with regular therapy and behavioral modification techniques at home. It isn't an easy task. Some days are better than others. We still would like to know exactly what goes on in his little brain and I truly believe that someday we will. So I keep chasing rainbows and praying that I'm doing the right thing. For now, I just count my blessings. My son is alive and is having an easier time coping with life. That is what keeps us going.


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